


Dust Me Off And Show Me All Truth

by DefaltManifesto



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: (it's both), Anal Sex, Anxiety Disorder, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Medicinal Drug Use, Post Enlistment, Recreational Drug Use, Shotgunning, Touch-Starved, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 07:57:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15359823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: Seunghyun is there standing by the car when he steps off the bus.





	Dust Me Off And Show Me All Truth

**Author's Note:**

> me, showing up to a fandom after leaving it 7 years ago: Here's some emotional angsty sex for y'all how've ya been?
> 
> No but for real I got back into k-pop again and have a second fic already half written so get ready my guys. 
> 
> Comments are loved! You can find me on twitter @ Defaltmanifesto. Title from The Ways by Khalid.

Seunghyun is there standing by the car when he steps off the bus. There’s paparazzi too, but Jiyong doesn’t spare them a look, his eyes fixed on Seunghyun’s face. He drops his bag at their feet and hugs Seunghyun as close as he can, fingers curling into his fists as he does so and eyes burning with tears he lets soak into Seunghyun’s shirt where no one can see. The hug ends too soon, but at least his eyes are dry when he pulls back.

“Come on,” Seunghyun says.

They throw the bag in the back and slide in after it. As soon as the door is shut, blocking out the sights and sounds of the media vultures, he throws himself across the seat and captures Seunghyun’s lips in a kiss. He’d missed this, Seunghyun’s lips against his, his hands on his shoulders, then his hips, and then back up to cup his face. He doesn’t want to stop. Breathing seems unimportant.

Seunghyun laughs and pushes him away. “Tinted windows only hide so much.”

Jiyong flushes and sits back in his seat, feeling young in a way he hasn’t in years. He leans forward and knocks on the glass between them and the drive. The car purrs to life and begins to move. Seunghyun loops an arm over his shoulders. Closing his eyes, Jiyong slumps into it and rests his head against Seunghyun’s chest.

“I missed you so much,” he says.

“I know. I missed you too,” Seunghyun says. There’s pain in his voice and Jiyong feels an old ache that he hadn’t been there when Seunghyun had needed him most.

“I should have-“

Seunghyun’s hand slides up and grips the back of his neck, hard. “Not now. We should have done a lot of things different.”

Jiyong turns his head and kisses the space over Seunghyun’s heart. “Okay.”

It’s an apology and forgiveness all in one. Jiyong is grateful beyond words.

 

-.-

 

They don’t fuck when they get to Seunghyun’s apartment. Jiyong desperately wants the stink of military regulation soap and shampoo that’s dulled his senses gone, even if it means not being glued to Seunghyun’s side for one more moment. Seunghyun’s stocked the shower with his favorite brands. His chest goes tight with affection and he stands in the spray letting the fruity smells soak in until he’s satisfied.

He’d gotten shit for being an idol. Too pampered. Too soft. But what was wrong with a moment’s indulgence at the end of a long day?

A quiet knock on the door, then the sound of it opening, jars him out of his thoughts. He can see Seunghyun’s blurry shape through the shower door and he’s torn between wanting him right there beside him and as far away as possible. But Seunghyun doesn’t ask to join him. Jiyong listens to him putter around, rearranging things in the cabinets, soaking in his easy presence without the commitment of interacting, a perfect medium.

The quiet care and attentiveness to his needs even without him speaking a word makes arousal of all things curl in his gut. He smiles to himself and slides his fingers around his cock, head thunking against the pretty tile wall as his eyes slide shut and water streams down his face. It’s rare, getting to take his time. Tease himself. But for now, he and Seunghyun have all the time in the world, all the time they could ever want.

His breath hitches as his fingers pinch the tip of his cock. He digs his thumb in and circles once, a noise stuck between a whimper and a moan spilling from his mouth. He watches Seunghyun’s form step closer before he slides the glass door open, folding it back against the wall before hopping up on the counter and letting his gaze rake over Jiyong’s wet form. The heat in his eyes feels hotter than the water.

Jiyong’s free hand slides up and he bites his lip in frustration at his stupid buzz cut because it’s hard to put on a show without his usual arsenal of tricks. Seunghyun still looks like he wants to eat him alive though so he’ll take it. And honestly, he’s been so keyed up for so long for this, he’s not sure he has much of an endurance to put on much of a show.

“Seunghyun…” His chin dips down and he strokes himself faster, chasing the pleasure he wants.

“That’s it, baby, fuck you’re so hot…” Seunghyun says, voice rough and barely audible over the spray.

Jiyong drags his eyes back up, meeting Seunghyun’s gaze with his own. He feels like he’s been cut wide open. He can’t hide from Seunghyun, not that he would ever want to, but in moments like these he feels overwhelmed by their mutual desire. His orgasm comes over him with a noise too soft to call a moan, but going by the way Seunghyun’s jaw goes tight, he hears him plenty fine.

For a long moment, Jiyong stands there, slumped against the shower wall with a hand wrapped limp around his cock as he softens. He feels like all his breath has been stolen. Seunghyun hops down from the counter and leans into the shower, clothes and all, just long enough to press his lips to Jiyong’s slack mouth in a rough kiss. Then he’s gone, bedroom door sliding shut behind him.

Jiyong smiles to himself and hits the shower handle, cutting the spray. He steps out of the shower and towels off quick and efficient. For a moment, he contemplates returning to Seunghyun’s bedroom naked just to see his face, but there’s a robe Seunghyun left for him on the back of the door that looks too comfortable to resist. He slips it on and heads down the hall.

The plush cotton glides across his skin. Goosebumps crawl up his neck from the sensation and it isn’t until he hears Seunghyun’s laughter that he realizes he’s been standing in the bedroom doorway rubbing the fabric against the skin of his arms. He flushes and looks away, prompting more laughter.

“I think I should give you and your robe a moment alone together. You clearly need it,” Seunghyun teases.

Jiyong yanks the belt loose and lets the robe fall in overdramatic defiance to the idea before pulling himself up onto the bed. Seunghyun likes silk sheets like Jiyong does and he gives an exaggerated moan as he slides onto his belly against it, head landing by Seunghyun’s still clothed thigh.

“You spoil me,” Jiyong says, turning on his back and looking up at Seunghyun.

Seunghyun smiles and pats his chest before leaning away and opening the nightstand to pull a few items out. He drops a bottle of lube on Jiyong’s chest with a grin. In his other hand, he holds a blunt and a lighter. He looks nervous when he sees Jiyong eyeing it, so Jiyong sits up and presses their lips together.

“What’s stressing you out?” he asks, lips still brushing Seunghyun’s as he speaks.

Seunghyun gives a nervous laugh. “What doesn’t? I can wait until after…”

“Just make sure you share,” Jiyong says. “You know I don’t mind.”

He cups the back of Seunghyun’s head and pulls him in for a deep kiss, tongue curling into his mouth with a moan leaving no question he’s right where he wants to be. No judgment. There never was.

Seunghyun pulls back and slips the blunt between his lips before flicking the lighter on and lighting the tip. Jiyong watches him inhale, watches the tension bleed from his jaw at the first hit from the simple relief that he gets to have this instead of something that leaves him feeling catatonic. There’s a rush of anger, towards everyone but Seunghyun, but Jiyong shoves it away. Instead, he kisses Seunghyun and sucks the smoke from his mouth. His fingers twist in Seunghyun’s hair, already at its normal length. It fills him with jealousy, but he knows his will be long again soon too so it doesn’t last.

Seunghyun’s breathing is rough when they break apart and as he takes another hit, Jiyong reaches down to fondle his cock through his jeans. He exhales on a moan and Jiyong steals the blunt from him for a hit of his own. It never takes much for him. His muscles feel loose and warm already as he slides down the bed and slips between Seunghyun’s thighs. He likes this dynamic too much sometimes he thinks. He likes the vulnerability that comes with being completely naked when Seunghyun’s clothes are all still on.

Well, mostly on.

Jiyong drags down his zipper and guides Seunghyun’s cock out through his pants and boxers, stroking it once before wrapping his lips around the tip and giving it a slow suck. Seunghyun gasps and fingers slide along Jiyong’s scalp, pushing. Jiyong obliges, looking up at Seunghyun through his eyelashes and humming when he gets a curse and his name groaned out in response. He’s out of practice. Even with Seunghyun’s desperate noises for encouragement, he can only go so far before his throat protests. He pulls off and takes the blunt from Seunghyun’s free hand.

He sucks in a long drag, holding it before leaning back down and blowing it over Seunghyun’s stiff cock. Seunghyun’s voice breaks on a whine and Jiyong’s lips curl into a grin when his cock twitches from the teasing stimulation. He passes the blunt back and Seunghyun sets it in the ash tray on the nightstand before hauling Jiyong close for another kiss, devouring his mouth with a single-minded fervor that has Jiyong’s cock hard and twitching against his thigh. Jiyong grabs the lube and spills some onto his hand before wrapping it around Seunghyun’s cock and jerking him fast.

Their lips press together in frantic kisses, mostly open-mouthed as they breathe against one another and steal each other’s air. One twist of his wrist on the upstroke and Seunghyun moans as he comes, making a mess of his shirt and Jiyong’s hand. Not that he minds. Keeping his eyes locked with Seunghyun’s, he bring his hand up to his lips and licks each finger clean. By the time he’s done, Seunghyun looks like he wants to shove him face down on the mattress and fuck him blind.

It’s too soon for that though. Jiyong slides off him and flops onto the bed on his back, grabbing the blunt and taking another hit as he watches Seunghyun pull off his clothes. Then he’s back on the bed, stretching out on top of Jiyong and while Jiyong loves the feel of soft fabrics against his skin, he likes this better. He takes one more drag and holds it in his mouth. Seunghyun cups his face in his hands and kisses him, inhaling the smoke from his mouth before blowing it back out to the side.

For a long while, they trade kisses and smoke, limbs twisting together in a slow, sleepy writhe. By the time the blunt is nothing but ash, Jiyong’s brain feels like it’s been stuffed with golden light, making everything warmer than usual and making ever sensation intense enough to cause goosebumps to raise up almost everywhere. He’s pretty sure he can’t get hard again, having gone soft sometime in their slow making out. That’s more than fine though. He just wants to hold Seunghyun.

“I think I’m going to fall asleep,” Seunghyun mumbles into his shoulder.

“Mmm…” Jiyong doesn’t have the energy for more than that.

He runs his fingers up Seunghyun’s spine, feeling each knob. He kisses Seunghyun’s neck, then his shoulder, before letting his head rest back against the pillow once more.

They drift in and out of consciousness for who knows how long. He swims in the hazy land between waking and dreaming, images and sounds floating across his vision until he blinks or opens his eyes fully and the world refocuses to Seunghyun’s relaxed face. By the time he really wakes up, the sky is dark and the recessed lights are barely lit. Jiyong pulls away and stretches, back popping as he does so.

“Old man,” Seunghyun mumbles into the pillow.

Jiyong snorts, then laughs, a full-bodied sound that has him clutching his stomach as he shakes. When he looks, Seunghyun’s eyes are closed but he’s smiling. He moves fast, running his fingers down Seunghyun’s stomach and making the skin shiver before Seunghyun lets out an embarrassing noise and shoves his hand away. Jiyong doesn’t get a chance to respond. The next moment finds him pinned to the bed being kissed breathless.

“Hmm, I yield,” he says when Seunghyun pulls back.

“You did all the work earlier,” Seunghyun says, shifting down to kiss his ear and then neck. “My turn.”

Jiyong twists his fingers in Seunghyun’s hair, not to lead but simply to have his hands on something. Seunghyun takes his time, trailing wet kisses along his neck and then collarbone, teeth scraping at the jut of his bone before sliding back up to do the other side. His brain stutters and slips back into the sleepy haze, pleasure rolling through him in slow waves. The silk under his back makes his head tingle. Seunghyun’s tongue sliding over his left nipple makes something else tingle. The thought makes him giggle, still a little stoned.

He feels Seunghyun’s lips smile against his chest. He doesn’t ask though, just purses his lips and gives a slow suck. His giggle breaks off into a gasp and then a moan as he arches up, hands pressing at Seunghyun’s head, begging with everything but words for more. Seunghyun gives it to him. He sucks and bites until his nipple is red, puffing up, then moves to the other. By the time he’s done, the silk sticks to his back from sweat and his cock has drooled out enough pre-come to make their stomachs slick.

“Seunghyun…please…”

“Patience.” Seunghyun kisses his sternum.

Jiyong has never been a patient man. Seunghyun takes pity on him and sits up on Jiyong’s thighs before shifting forward and raising up on his knees.

“But I didn’t-“ Jiyong starts.

“Prepped myself while you were sleeping,” Seunghyun says, flushing when Jiyong laughs. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Well come on then.”

Seunghyun slides down onto his cock in one slow, hot slide, squeezing around him once he’s down as far as he can go. Jiyong twists his hands in the pillowcases above him. He wants to thrust, move, chase the pleasure that’s surrounding him, but he holds himself still because it’s been a long time for them both. Seunghyun’s eyes are shut, mouth dropped open on a gasp. Jiyong pushes himself up, ignoring the crick in his back in favor of pressing warm kisses to his neck and holding him close.

It’s a hard position to hold, but it’s worth it when Seunghyun begins to swivel his hips, no real thrusting but just a slow grind that has them both clutching at each other. Thoughts rush through Jiyong’s head and disperse before he can grasp them, spilling out of his lips as short-changed praise against Seunghyun’s neck. He sucks in a harsh breath and flips them, pressing Seunghyun into the mattress before easing back inside.

Seunghyun’s eyes open wide, head slamming back against the pillow as Jiyong mimics his motions from earlier, thrusting in and then giving a slow grind. It feels perfect, the pleasure hot and fast racing through their veins even as every motion syncs with the relaxing waves of contentment that wash through them. The sensations twist together and lay like a heavy blanket over them and Jiyong has to kiss him, has to be closer.

He’s felt so apart, so lonely. And Seunghyun, he knows he understands because he knows he felt the same. But like this, at least for now, they have time to chase it away. They move against each other and carve out a space for themselves so they can never be apart. At least, it feels that way.

Jiyong’s never felt so god damn sober.

He comes with a shaking kiss pressed to Seunghyun’s lips and his lashes wet with tears. Seunghyun holds his face in his hands, long fingers skating along his jaw and whispering something that sounds like praise as Jiyong sucks in a harsh breath through his teeth and lets it out in a rush.

“Seunghyun…I…”

“I know,” Seunghyun says. His eyes are bright, everything Jiyong feels welling up in his chest reflecting right back at him. “Me too, Jiyong. Me too.”


End file.
